"Love is just friendship on Fire!"

You know? Life if funny! We learn, we teach and we think we "know" what we want.

Roughly five years ago I met the love of my life. Although I didn't realize it at the time....so I dated him, tested him and allowed him to fall for me....then I pushed him away. Crushed he let me go...it was off and on for sometime....each time ending worse than the last....each time I pushed him away....and each time I broke it off.

Three months ago I moved from Atlanta back to Orlando...I needed a break from the life I was living in Atl. About a month after being in Orlando...

You see I couldn't keep him out of my head. I compared other guys to him...always thinking "Anthony would never do this to me!" I thought about him daily. What a life with him would be like. What a family would be like. So I met up with him. We didn't sleep together...we just hung out. We decided with me going back to Atlanta so soon would make it too hard. The week I was due to move back to Atlanta proved to be a hellacious battle!!!

One extreme to another happened...I stayed with Anthony the challenging move week. I finally made it back to Atlanta on a Tuesday. My brothers drove me here and turned around and went right back home. Anthony and I decided to make it work, long distance, again.

So here I am...in Atlanta. My favorite city!! The place I've made a name for myself. Where it would be best for my career choice. My friends are here. We have a blast together.... Only something is missing....and things aren't the same as before. I'm working at a place that I don't love, I think about the love of my life all the time and being with him, my friends and I never hang out anymore...they are either far away, not true friends, in a relationship, getting married or pregnant.

This time without Anthony it's not right....it's not the same. I remember to the minute when I knew I was in love with him. And I knew to the moment I was scared of that. As we grow and mature..things change. People come and go....you can learn lessons from them or you can be mad and learn nothing.

Anthony has taught me the true meaning of TRUE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. How to love back and recognize that being scared is ok......being scared of failing is ok too....it's when you have someone to catch you when you fall, support you and be there for you. That's when you know you are not only in love but you have a best friend you can always depend on.

So where is this going? Because everyone knows you can't have a marriage and a family long distance...so even though I have only just moved back. And even though I love it here. My love for this man is much stronger than for this city. He's been patient and loving....and now I know what I want!

I want to be with him. I want to move back to Orlando to wake up daily next to him in our bed. I want to grow a garden of fresh veggies and herbs to use on the nights we cook together. Have friends and family over for dinner....brunch...or fun! Sit on our porch and watch the rain with glasses of wine just listening to each other breath along side the rain.

Come the end of March...I will be again an Orlando resident. I will be starting a life with my soul mate. And that feels really good!!!